THEY DIE NEXT
The Films of Joe Christ Volume 1
Written and Directed by Joe Christ
Cast: Joe Christ, Mary Leohr, Dana Wisdom, Cory Parks, Nanzi X. Regalia & Other
Assorted Mutants & Weirdos
75 Minutes/1991, 1992, 1993/Color
1.33:1/English/USA/NTSC Region 1
Review from the Dept. 13 Productions DVD
I started out as fan of Joe Christ's movies back when he was selling them out of his own house on videotapes. Even though the production values on many of his movies is minimal, there is a level of perverse subversion and savage wit that rises them above the meager budget that was put into them. Yes, seconds into any of Joe's movies and you'll be pretty sure it isn't a Dreamworks production. They are seedy, but they seem to revel in their seedy gutter.
At long last, thanks to Dept. 13 films, Joe's first DVD was released late in 2002. It is named after a quote from one of the movies, They Die Next., which is a reference to the main character’s thoughts about his enemies.
They Die Next contains three of Joe Christ's earlier movies, Speed Freaks With Guns, Crippled and Acid Is Groovy Kill the Pigs. Joe essentially portrays the same character in all three of these violent and disgusting movies. I mean that in a most complimentary manner, by the way.
In the first, Speed Freaks With Guns, Joe is a ranting, raving, paranoid, murderous speed freak. All of the dialogue that Joe speaks, however outlandish it may sound, is verbatim from various amphetamine users that he knew in Dallas in the 1980's. Of course, all of Joe's movies are comedies, and as hideous as they are, are amusing to those with a dark sense of humor.
In Crippled, we are initially introduced to a quadriplegic who is confined to a bed and being tormented by her nurse. She tempts her with food while she starves her and won't change her diaper. She finally is abandoned and she manages to phone for help. Unfortunately, the "help" turns out to be Joe Speedfreak. Her life greatly improves, but only for a temporary time. Crippled is considered one of the sickest pieces of cinema ever made.
Acid Is Groovy Kill the Pigs was Joe's ambitious movie to date and has his most assured soundtrack, which is provided by Joe Christ himself. The plot deals with the real life case of Jeffery MacDonald, an Army Captain who was convicted for killing his pregnant wife and two children. As a defense, he claimed that they were murdered by a drug crazed hippie cult, who chanted Acid is groovy, kill the pigs. In Joe's movie, there was a cult and years later they reunite, eating sheets of blotter acid and going on a killing spree.
Joe Christ has become legendary as a raconteur and those who know him are well aware of his penchant for telling humorous and horrifying stories. His audio commentaries are the biggest selling point of this DVD. His talks are revealing, hysterical and often horrifying.
They Die Next is the first in a proposed three disc set of Joe Christ DVDs from Dept. 13 films. The second, The Director Yelled Cut! is due in October 2003. This one will feature Joe's real life horrorshows, Communion in Room 410 and Sex Blood and Mutilation. These two are extremely shocking and are only recommended to the most diehard gore lovers.
As I indicated above, Joe's movies are bare bones in production values. They can be easily dismissed by many as being "cheap" or "garbage". However, those with an appreciation for the underground and any with interest in a fascinating guy who kept his head above water by his wits and his balls should find much to enjoy in They Die Next, or any other Joe Christ production. I most eagerly anticipate my two favorites to be released, Amy Strangled a Small Child and My Struggle, which features my wife as a shit flinging retard.
At the present, Joe Christ remains active in the underground. He is a video editor for the gore/porn/weird shit site, Consumption Junction and is currently planning his next movie.
Interested parties are urged to check out the Dept. 13 site, where a trailer for They Die Next can be seen:
http://www.dept13.com/index.shtml
Consumption Junction, where all kinds of dementia is located, including ordering information for all of Joe's movies, as well as a clip of my wife, the retard. Check visit the shop:
http://www.consumptionjunction.com/
They Die Next can be purchased from either Dept. 13 or Consumption Junction. I happened to have bought mine from CJ, and their service was excellent.
Finally, anyone with further interest in Joe Christ and his movies is encouraged to visit his homepage:
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Review by Mark Sieber. All Right Reserved. 2003. ©